Unspiritual Yoga

For thousands of years, the moves of martial arts, Yoga, and similar disciplines have been transferred, free of charge, from teacher to student, directly or via scripts. But no more. Bikram, the founder of Bikram Yoga, sues one of his ex-student for $1m for teaching a Bikram yoga sequence without paying royalties.

Farewell Yora spirituality; welcome materiality.

On space travel and cell phones

My workplace has recently changed our blackberries to the latest model. You know the one I mean. It has GPS, so that I can never use ‘I lost my way’ as an excuse to come late to meetings; it has a built-in camera, so they can always ask me for an on-the-spot proof of my whereabouts; it also has voice recording, which I can’t think of how it may be used. It’s a wonderful (though mostly useless) gadget, but with one major drawback: the keys are so small that I cannot use them. 

Things started falling into place once I realized that the blackberry was issued by Virgin, whose airplanes’ economy class has the smallest leg room. Is it possible that the smallness of Virgin different offerings is not a coincidence, but rather a part in a bigger plan? After all, virgin is one of the most ambitious companies, whose current challenge is to create the first commercial space travel service – a service that will greatly benefit from miniaturization. In other words, is it possible that the picture above is not of a model, but of an actual spacecraft? 

You see, the problem with miniaturization nowadays is not of technology, but of usability. It’s the human interface, rather than technology, that restricts the size of our tools. Just imagine how profitable an airline carrier, a car manufacturer or a cell phone provider could be if we, human, were half our current size or smaller. 

I am sure that for someone like Sir Richard, who does not believe that anything is impossible, shrinking human to support the development of space technology is a worthwhile challenge. Small telephones and airplanes seats are just a step in this direction. 

So when on an airplane, beware of mushrooms and bottles that say ‘drink me’. It may be a trick.

Credit Crisis Rescue Package: if you still don't understand what they are talking about in the news

 

You have two cows, and you write down on a piece of paper that the cows are worth $100 each.

You notice the cows are on fire. Your paper still says $100.
Fortunately, mark to market has been suspended so you don't have to pay attention to the fire.

Your cows are dead from fire. Your paper still says $100.
Fortunately, mark to market has been suspended so you don't have to pay attention to the dead cows.

You notice that you aren't getting as much milk as expected, so you adjust the model and mark the cows down to $98. You are confident, however, that the dislocated stream of milk revenue will quickly revert to expectations.

You need to borrow some money so you ask investors for a loan against the cows. The investors tell you the cows are dead, and you already owe them $200 dollars you borrowed to buy them in the first place. You show them the paper that says the cows are worth $98 each.

They light your paper on fire. You ask the government to buy the dead cows at $98 each.

The government holds meetings all weekend and finally comes up with a plan to inject $45 dollars into your cattle ranch. In exchange, the government gets a right to milk generated from the cows at some point in the future. It expects you'll buy a new cow with the $45.

You have two dead cows, $45 and $200 in debt to your investors. You have no plans to buy new cows, so you take the $45 as a bonus.

Lesson In Banking 101

This article was first published in the British humour magazine "Punch Magazine" on April 3, 1957: But still VERY pertinent to Banking practices today. It a clear demonstration that in 50 years, we have neither improved not got any smarter.

Q: What are banks for?
A: To make money.

Q: For the customers?
A: For the banks.

Q: Why doesn't bank advertising mention this?
A: It would not be in good taste. But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of
$249,000,000,000 or thereabouts. That is the money they have made.

Q: Out of the customers?
A: I suppose so.

Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. Have they made that too?
A: Not exactly. That is the money they use to make money.

Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere?
A: Not at all. They lend it to customers.

Q: Then they haven't got it?
A: No.

Q: Then how is it Assets?
A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back.

Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere?
A: Yes, usually $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. This is called Liabilities.

Q: But if they've got it, how can they be liable for it?
A: Because it isn't theirs.

Q: Then why do they have it?
A: It has been lent to them by customers.

Q: You mean customers lend banks money?
A: In effect. They put money into their accounts, so it is really lent to the banks.

Q: And what do the banks do with it?
A: Lend it to other customers.

Q: But you said that money they lent to other people was Assets?
A: Yes.

Q: Then Assets and Liabilities must be the same thing?
A: You can't really say that.

Q: But you've just said it! If I put $100 into my account the bank is liable to have to pay it back,
so it's Liabilities. But they go and lend it to someone else and he is liable to have to pay it back,
so it's Assets. It's the same $100 isn't it?
A: Yes, but....

Q: Then it cancels out. It means, doesn't it, that banks haven't really any money at all?
A: Theoretically......

Q: Never mind theoretically! And if they haven't any money, where do they get their Reserves of
$249,000,000,000 or thereabouts??
A: I told you. That is the money they have made.

Q: How?
A: Well, when they lend your $100 to someone they charge him interest.

Q: How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say five and a-half percent. That's their profit.

Q: Why isn't it my profit? Isn't it my money?
A: It's the theory of banking practice that.........

Q: When I lend them my $100 why don't I charge them interest?
A: You do.

Q: You don't say. How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say a half percent.

Q: Grasping of me, rather?
A: But that's only if you're not going to draw the money out again.

Q: But of course I'm going to draw the money out again! If I hadn't wanted to draw it out again I
could have buried it in the garden!
A: They wouldn't like you to draw it out again.

Q: Why not? If I keep it there you say it's a Liability. Wouldn't they be glad if I reduced their
Liabilities by removing it?
A: No. Because if you remove it they can't lend it to anyone else.

Q: But if I wanted to remove it they'd have to let me?
A: Certainly.

Q: But suppose they've already lent it to another customer?
A: Then they'll let you have some other customers money.

Q: But suppose he wants his too....and they've already let me have it?
A: You're being purposely obtuse.

Q: I think I'm being acute. What if everyone wanted their money all at once?
A: It's the theory of banking practice that they never would.

Q: So what banks bank on, is not having to meet their commitments?
A: YOU GOT IT!

Post-Capitalism is ...

A system in which reward is not shared by the risk takers, and where the biggest players demand to be rewarded for making products that no one needs or wants to buy.