Quotes from the honest guru

People love to support the underdog. However, being an underdog does not make you right, it does not even make you good or just. It simply makes you an underdog.

Simply beautiful

Quotes from the honest guru

If insects were to disappear tomorrow, all life on earth would perish. If man were to disappear tomorrow, within a generation life on earth would flourish.

(anonymous) 

Medicine for sadness

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then - to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be threatened by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you."

T.H. White
The Once and Future King

A question from the honest guru

If you fail to fail, are you a failure or a success?

Eggs and the extinction of the human race

Until recently eggs were raising our cholesterol to dangerous levels and should have been eliminated from our diet. But not any more. Research has shown that eggs are good for our health, and will remain so until a future research will prove the opposite.

I just wonder how generations of my ancestors managed to survive without knowing how to have a good diet, live properly, healthily and correctly. According to another research, we should have been extinct by now.

So until the final extinction, or  until it becomes unhealthy again, I am going to have Spanish Omelette for my dinner. Bon Apeptit.

Post-Capitalism is ...

A system in which reward is not shared by the risk takers, and where the biggest players demand to be rewarded for making products that no one needs or wants to buy.

About brothels, banks and governments

The Mustang Ranch brothel, also known as the Mustang Bridge Ranch or Valley of the Dolls, was Nevada's first licensed brothel. In 1990 the U.S Federal Government seized it for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed.

I only hope governments are doing a better job at running the banks they own than at running brothels.

Quotes From The Honest Guru

Few can cause more harm than a self-righteous or an ignorant do-gooder.

Whenever you are frustrated with your job and your boss, remember, it can get worse:

Quotes From The Honest Guru

If you ever believe what you are told in the media remember that:

The chances of anything coming from Mars,

are a million to one he said. 

But still they come.

 Jeff Wayne

The tragedy of relationships

The tragedy of any relationship starts the moment you have lost your ability to make each other happy, yet maintained the ability to inflict pain and make each other miserable.

Once you are there, there is no way back. Step down.

The Claws

One afternoon, when I was leisurely drinking my tea, I suddenly felt that my cup was fighting to evade my grip. Closer examination, however, revealed that it wasn’t my cup at all; it was my hands, having been terrorized by a pair of claws that that had arrived to replace them, that were trying to escape. 

“Not again!” I thought, and decided that this time I was going to file a complaint. 

My spoon gave a busy signal first, and then gave no dial tone, and I realized that a visit in person would be necessary, so I dived in. Fortunately enough, I could easily reach the cube of sugar, which was still lying at the bottom. The complaints department, on the other hand, seemed to have moved and I couldn’t find it anywhere. 

A little blue fish approached me and asked for the way to the technical department. But having missed my tea, I felt hungry and swallowed it. This seemed to somewhat upset his big brother, who appeared from behind the corner, and ignoring my unsavory flavor, gulped me at once. 

I knew I was heading in the right direction when I saw a Complaints Department sign shimmering from the back of his throat, and I started tracing the arrows on the floor. 

Down the spiraling stairs I went, and up the dark corridors, until I found myself facing a locked door, who rudely refused to let me in. I was about to retrace my steps, when my claws, eager to prove themselves useful, scratched their way through the unfriendly door to the other side, where I was attacked by champagne corks, balloons and a group of women who insisted on kissing me all over. 

“Surprise!” they called, blowing the trumpets.

“Welcome to the accounting department,” said an accountant-looking woman. “You are the first person to have joined us since the freeze in human resource,” she said, and with a sweep of her arm cleared a space for herself on a big mahogany desk and set on it opened legged.

“We are your family now,” she continued, pulling me towards her, with her eyes glowing. “So make sure your report is on my desk by seven tonight.”

“But I’m only looking for the complaints department,” I said faintly.

“The complaints department?” she shrieked loudly, attracting all eyes in my direction, making me wish I’d never uttered the words. “He wants the complaints department!

“We are not good enough for him here. Let’s show him what we do to people who are after the complaints department!” she cried and kicked me straight through the wall into a small room, where I crash-landed over a machine, whose jammed cogs started to heat up to my touch, while humming cheerfully to themselves. 

“Thanks for the lift,” said the small slimy blue fish, jumping out of my mouth. “Keep the change,” he continued, handing me a dime. 

I wanted him to stay and introduce me to the machine, which seemed too shy to make my acquaintance. But he vanished in the crowed. 

As conversation seemed impossible under the circumstances, I started staring the walls, hoping to find my way out. One brick after the other I tapped, until I found what I was after. 

“Exit,” said the brick, and smiled temptingly.

“Could you please open up for me?” I asked. But she kept quiet, and only her widening smile indicated she’d heard me. I tapped her again, and she opened straight away, and I could see half a dozen sulking people sniffing roses in disgust. 

“No more complaints!” they shouted when they saw me. “Can’t you see we’re closed now? Take a rose and go away.” 

But as I noticed that the roses formed the words ‘Complaints Department’ I decided to pursue the issue for which I’d come. 

“When will you open again?” I asked.

“Tomorrow, It’s always tomorrow,” came the reply.

“It’s only a small issue.” I insisted. “Look, I was having my cup of tea, when all of a sudden my hands decided to escape, and left me with these,” I said, making my claws visible.

“A very nice pair of claws… osprey’s I should say. They look just fine to me.”

“But I don't want them. I want my hands back!”

“You think that you’ve got a problem, don’t you?” they grumbled. “Look at these roses, for instance. They don’t even smell. And they are all fresh. Do you really think that we can keep listening to your complaints under such conditions?”

“But…” I said, feeling embarrassed to have been so selfish.

“Listen mate, one more word from you and you’re the manager here. Then, all your complaints will be dealt with by our internal affair department,, where they’ll be given a special clearing priority, just over there,” he said pointing to the dust bin in the corner. 

“But …” I said again.

“That’s done it. “Starting now, you’re the manager. And if you don’t want us all to be going on a strike, you’d better do something about these roses straight away,” they said, and pushed me into a manager’s soft-leathered chair. 

As a manager my claws turned up to be of great value, so I decided to keep them, and withdrew my complaint altogether. And this was the beginning of my professional life.

Quotes from the honest guru

If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed …always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions.

A question from the honest Guru

Why do psychics ask your name?

Why do they hate Israel so much?

I have just returned from a couple of weeks in Europe – a continent in distress. The financial crisis is felt in every city in Europe, and may result in default on debt of some of the European countries. It may even lead to the collapse of the EU altogether. Iran’s plans to continue with its nuclear program will soon put Europe in the range of the Iranian nuclear warheads. The rise of extreme Islam in Europe threatens to change the face of Europe and the European culture forever. Many real problems that may threaten the European lifestyle, and yet anti-Israel sentiment is still prevalent.

My question is why? Why is anti-Israel sentiment high on the public agenda in a continent with so many urgent problems? Is Israel really such a risk to Europe, or alternatively, are Israel’s actions so horrific that Europe simply cannot ignore them for moral reasons, and put then high on the agenda, despite the more urgent problems?

Let’s look at some facts. Israel’s birth at 1948 was out of war. Like most other wars it’s controversial, and there are numerous viewpoints and interpretations of the events. Undoubtedly, both sides had their fair share of atrocities. Yet, no other birth of a nation has created such one-sided hatred.

Nowadays the existence of Israel is a fact. None of those who took part in the birth of the country is in a position of power any longer. Most of them are dead. So even those who feel that Israel birth was in sin must admit that most living Israelis had nothing to do with the birth of their country. Yet they are still a target of hatred.

There is no doubt that the Arab-Israeli conflict is ugly. There is no doubt that this has been a horrible war in which both sides have committed many atrocities. But there is also little doubt that either side is the sole responsible. The situation is rather hopeless, and nobody, absolutely nobody, has a solution. Yet, Israel is hated.

The Arab-Israeli conflict is far from being the bloodiest conflict in the world. It’s far from having the worse record of atrocities. Let’s, for example, look at some numbers (all taken from the Historical atlas of 20th century Matthew White):

The total death toll of the Israeli Arab conflict in over 100 years claimed about 60,000 people, out of which 7,000 Arabs were killed in the 40 years of occupation. It’s a horrible number indeed. However, in the same period 83 million people were killed as a result of tyranny and genocide. That is, Israel has been responsible for 0.07% of all such killings. Not so bad considering that the country has been in a war the entire period. Let’s compare it to other countries:

In China 40 million were killed under Mao

In Russia 20 million were killed under Stalin

Sudan conflict has consumed 225,000 lives

Somalia 400,000

Romania 150,000

Cambodia 225,000

Algeria 100,000 (fundamentalist Moslem insurrection only, not including the Algerian war)

Kurdistan 300,000

Liberia 150,000

Angola 550,000

Philippines 50,000

Not that these numbers justify the Arab-Israeli war, but one must wonder why the hatred in the European street is focused on Israel rather than on Algeria or Angola, for instance.

How come Israeli scholars are banned from many English academic conferences? Why don’t they ban Burmese, Sudanese or Chinese? And why, when any Muslim decides to detonate a bomb anywhere in the world, let it be London or Bali, calls against Israel are heard?

Is the very same attitude that that led the English to blame the Polish when they were first occupied by Hitler? That is blaming the bombers may lead to more religious hatred, and more bombs, while blaming Israel is safe. After all, no bomb, suicide bomber, airplane hijacking by an Israeli has ever taken place?

Or maybe it’s just the same good old anti-semitism under disguise: “we don’t hate Jews any more; it’s Israel that we hate”?

Once upon a city

A city
Once so grand
Glorified past
Decay.

Just another city
Like any other.

Having a bad day?

Always look on the bright side of life

Please don’t send me eCards anymore

I love to know you think of me
I love to know you care.
I’m happy when you chat with me
In Messenger or mail.
But please don’t send me eCards anymore.

I love to hear about your deeds
I always want to know.
An SMS brighten my day
Even if just Hello.
But please don’t send me eCards anymore

Cause when I get eCard from you
I wasn’t on your mind.
You have a mailing list, I know
And URL you found.

So

Send me single line to say
That you are fine and care.
But please,
Yes Please
I mean it
Don’t send me eCards anymore.

Quotes From The Honest Guru

Some people are so well organized and planned 

...

I am glad I’m not one of them

One of my favorite cartoons

The Night Market

When night falls and day-stalls fade away, the night crowd appears and the place is reborn into second life. The smoke rising from torches and open-fires smears the electric lights into aromatic illuminated haze. The hungry crowd get trapped, on their way to reaching the food, by night magicians and story tellers, who, to the sound of drums and other instruments, tell their stories and show their magic.

The night is also the time when women come to life. Some with their families, others as beggars with toddlers trained to cry at will, whenever a tourist comes near. Young women emerge to find love, hiding from preying eyes in the safety of the crowd.

Imagine away the electric lights, and you’d find yourself back at time when the forefather of these very story tellers were telling the very same stories; time when the ancestors of the food hawkers were making the very same food in the very same way. As this place has attracted locals and tourist alike, and made them leave their money behind for generations.

The call of muezzin is sounded from a nearby minaret. The crowed kneel on their knees to pray. Boys are pilfering from the food stalls, just as they have done for a thousand years.

Can women understand science?

Zen sotry

Did you hear about the Zen Master who goes
up to the hot dog vendor and says, "Make me
one with everything"?